The Lights Are On, But No One’s Home!
I am alive, I promise!
I’ve been MIA lately, my time is being monopolised by two small beings, and my brain doesn’t seem to be able to function enough to type complete sentences - I’ve only barely been keeping CraftBlog alive and that’s more because I don’t want to lose the audience that I’ve put in all that hard work to develop.
Connor is a sweetie, he’s had a few restless nights, but overall he’s a happy little thing, he’s just starting to coo and is thinking about smiling, or at least frowning less. Declan is still being a lovely big brother, although he’s been sick for about a week now so that’s been a bit of a battle, tantrums that would have been manageable previously have turned into complete meltdowns. He’s recently become obsessed with drawing, cars and, after I showed him how he can get cartoons on demand via YouTube, computers, I can’t even go near my laptop without him grabbing the mouse and demanding “ROARY!!!!”.
I’m feeling a lot better physically this time around, I’ve already lost 20lbs and I’m only another couple away from my pre-pregnancy weight, unfortunately my brain doesn’t seem to be coping quite so well. I’m fairly certain that about half my brain cells went along with my placenta into the medical waste bin! I am in a constant state of dippyness, with all essential knowledge pushed out of my head to make way for the Thomas & Friends theme tune and instant recognition of every Sesame Street character ever.
For everyone that’s been nagging me about updating, I will be doing NaBloPoMo once again this year so things will pick up around here, although I can’t promise enlightening content every day, I will make sure to at least put up a photo as a snapshot into my day to day life 
Zombiefied
Today was meant to be my first day “back on the job”, I’d had a full week out of hospital, relaxing and settling in, and today was going to be my first day back as amazingly-constructive-supermum. HAH! I woke up just before seven (Dan had already been up since 5:30 with Declan), watched Nick Jr. with the boy, broke two needles on my sewing machine, watched half of Dr. Phil and then had a three hour nap. I’m starting to feel like I’m spending all of my day either asleep or sitting on the sofa with my norks out, this was fine when Declan was a newborn as I didn’t have any other responsibilities, but with a toddler running around it’s a great deal harder, even with my Mum’s help. I just feel like I need an extra 12 hours in the day just to sleep.
Connor is such a laid back baby, very calm, a great sleeper, excellent with feeding, very big on the cuddles, and still very quiet, the most noise I’ve heard from him to date has been a particularly loud squeak when his big brother’s foot came into rather sharp contact with his head - in D’s defence, this was a complete accident and when he realised he’d hurt the baby I think he was probably the more upset out of the two of them.
Declan is being wonderful, although he’s got into the habit of ridiculously early mornings, he’s doing great with the baby, will rub his back to help burp him, he’ll try and give him the dummy, he gets upset if Connor is distressed and so far has been awesome with him. I’m going to look at some child care places next week to think about putting him in for just one day a week to give him some time away from me and some socialisation with other toddlers. The three weeks I spent away from him made me realise he doesn’t need me by his side 24/7, as much as the control freak in me would like that, and I know how much he would benefit from some time spent away from me, playing with other children and developing his social skills further.
I’ve found the transition from one child to two far easier than going from none to one, my attitude this time round is so much better and I think that’s definitely rubbing off on the boys, I’m a calmer and more relaxed Mum. Tomorrow my Mum is going out for the afternoon so it will be my first time left alone with the two of them, I’m actually looking forward to it, I feel confident and oddly relaxed about it. I remember when Dan had to go back to work when Declan was about ten days old and I was completely alone with him for the first time, I was in tears when he left and I think kept them up for most of the morning, the idea of which I just find hilarious now. Whether it’s a case of “been there, done that”, or the medication I’m now on, who knows, but I do know that I much prefer the person and Mum I am this time around, that is, when I don’t feel like a zombie
Connor Update
Dan made his decision this afternoon and Connor is now officially Connor Lorne Treacy. The forms are filled in and will be sent off tomorrow and then that’s it, set!
He came off the monitors and out of the nursery yesterday morning and is doing great so I feel a bit better talking about what went on. I basically dilated from 4cm to 9cm in less than an hour and then my body started evicting him without much warning and the slow transition of labour. He went into distress and his heartbeat dropped so there was no slowing me down and waiting for the Doctor, just a rush to get him out asap, Dan played the role of the second midwife and took orders and ran around grabbing things for the MW delivering. Connors head came out without any dramas at all, no tearing at all, but at that point we discovered that the cord was wrapped around his neck, too tight to slip over his head, so that was cut instantly and he made his way into the world, completely limp and blue.
They whisked him straight onto the heat bed whilst three midwives worked on him with oxygen, stimulation and trying everything to get him going. I could just see his little hand, watching them pick it up over and over again only to see it flop down and hearing them talk to him and encourage him to pick up, it’s all very surreal. After five minutes they said it had been too long to keep trying there and so called our paediatrician and took him straight down to the special care nursery.
It was four hours sitting around in the birth suite waiting for the epi to wear off and for someone to actually take care of me, I delivered his placenta, my doctor finally arrived and apologised profusely for not making it, I took a shower, had some dinner and was finally allowed to go and see him just before seven. The general consensus was that he was just shell shocked at the delivery, his oxygen levels were great, his blood tests came back clear, and he was breathing fine, he was just suffering from some real stress from coming into the world at that kind of speed, combined with the cord being around his neck really affected him.
He took his first feed from a tube, managed his second on the bottle (thank you to the anonymous mama who donated her milk!) and by his third was on the boob, he’s taken a while to get it, but his latch is great, he’s just a very lazy feeder, we’ve been doing better today and he’s becoming more efficient, down from over an hour each side to just 45 minutes now.
I’m feeling great, healing well and the worse complaint I have is backache, totally different from D’s birth!
Declan isn’t overly interested so far, he poked him and announced “baby!” just to clarify incase we weren’t sure what I’d birthed, when he was visiting he would just lean over at him and giggle, I’m curious to see how he’ll be when we come home on Tuesday. I think he deserves more credit than I’m giving him, I think he’ll adjust a lot better than I had previously thought.
Introducing Connor *something* Treacy
It seems I just had a baby! He was taken to special care a few minutes after being born due to some complications (I’ll talk about all that in a future post), but he’s fine now. He’s now breathing on his own, he’s been transferred out of the heat crib and into a normal one, the next step is just having him feed without any aid, at the moment he’s taking formula through a tube in his nose, I’m going in in a few hours to try and boob him for the first time and hopefully some skin on skin contact will make him slightly more alert and happy, all of his blood tests have come back fine, he was completely limp at birth so I have no idea of APGAR scores or anything - everyone had other things to worry about!
The birth was awesome, I told Dan straight afterwards that if I could have a birth like that every time we could have twenty more kids! It was the polar opposite of Declan’s birth, just really wonderful, I could just do without the big scare at the end of it! Dan was great throughout, I think he enjoyed this experience far more than watching me scream and swear for twelve hours!
He doesn’t look a great deal like Declan, his colouring is much darker and instead of D’s very fine light brown hair he has a head of very dark wavy hair. Haven’t seem his eyes yet so I can’t report on them, but I assume they’ll be the same grey/blue that Dan, Declan and I have. He has ten fingers and ten toes and at the moment I’d say he has his father’s nose - one of the traits that De missed out on!
Connor ???? Treacy
3:07pm Friday 19th September
7lb 11oz 56cm
*edit*: Fern = Maths FAIL 3.5kgs = 7.7lbs which is 7lb 11oz not 7lb 7oz. She just wanted to fix the Baby pool so she’d win it…. — Dan.
He has no middle name yet! I’ve handed that over to Dan completely as Connor was my pick of the names, there are a few we’re throwing around, I’ve told him to come back in the morning with a definite name for him so I’ll update you when that happens.
And just so he isn’t left out, this is my blue eyed boy on his last ever day as an only child, if only he knew what was to come!
I’m not sure when I’ll be out, it depends on how Connor does with feeding, but I’m hoping to be home with my family by Wednesday at the very latest.
Day Eighteen Of Confinement
Now with pictures! Although they’re fairly poor quality, this place really needs to improve its lighting!
Last ever belly shot! 36 weeks 6 days, babe is engaged, to the point that the midwife who checked me this morning commented that he’s so low that limbs will start falling out soon. He’s also a big boofer, during a check a few days ago they commented that size wise he feels more like a 40-weeker than a 36. I have big babies!
I’m really not feeling the love for tomorrow, with Declan I was so excited about giving birth, this time I know what’s coming, and I’m just dreading it! I’m trying to think positive and think that it may not necessarily be plagued with the same issues as D’s birth, but the fear is still very much there.
Card from the March Moms group who have been awesome in keeping my spirits up and keeping me entertained over the last few weeks. The flowers were from the flower lady who comes round every morning to spray the flowers and remove any dead ones, every morning she’d come into our room and we’d tell her that we have no flowers. She felt sorry for us and so brought these in before my cellmate left yesterday!
I had a new cellmate within a couple of hours, another girl with ruptured membranes, although she’s term. She’s nice enough but doesn’t embrace trashy television like my old roomie, I don’t have anyone to watch Dr Phil with!
I’ve been embroidering a lot since being in here, I’m sure it’s some form of irony that I started cross-stitching a couple of months back because my Doctor told me I needed to spend more time sitting still and relaxing because the way I was going before put me at a high risk for pre-term labour. I did some at home, but I’ve only really got sucked into it since I’ve been stuck in hospital for exactly what he was warning me about.
I’ve been doing some freehand embroidery as well, but no photos of that as I’ve been sending it home so I don’t have lots of little pieces of fabric laying around here with designs on.
Now I’m just waiting for my in-laws, my Mum, Dan and the boy to arrive to visit me, I figured with that many people I’d even make an effort to get out of pyjamas and put on some make up! I almost feel human.
Baby Pool
Okay, bets are officially on, I want everyone’s guesses for this babe.
It will be born on the 19th, so no debating that one, what we don’t know is…
- Gender:
- Time of birth:
- Weight:
- Length:
So have at it 
If I’m inspired enough the closest guess (not including gender!) in each area may even get a prize, or maybe just some internet love.
Things that might help:
- I craved sweet things at the start of the pregnancy
- Had very bad morning sickness until 20 weeks
- My skin has been worse than usual
- I carried straight out the front like I’d swallowed a bowling ball
- Now I’m the same, but super low
- The induction will start between 7 and 8am
- With Declan the time from the drip beginning and him emerging was 11 hours 59 minutes (he was born at 8:28pm)
- Declan was 3.7kg (8lbs 3oz)
- Dan is 6ft4, I am 5ft9, Declan was 55cm (21.5inches) at birth
So have at it, leave a comment to place your bets
Day Twelve Of Confinement
This time next week I shall be in labour! I’m not thrilled about that, but I am happy that babe #2 will finally be here next Friday, we’re on the home stretch now and the end is in sight
We have a first name for both genders, no definite middle names yet, just ideas, and neither of us are 100% on the first names, but if we don’t come up with anything better before Friday then that’s what #2 will be dubbed - at least he/she will no longer be anonymous.
Day Ten Of Confinement
I’ve hit boredom now, I’m not particularly frustrated or even upset about being in here any more, just bored out of my skull and counting down the days. Oddly enough the days seem to pass fairly quickly, I’m up at 7:30 for breakfast, have my obs taken, watch some morning telly, get my CTG done, have coffee and cake, jump in the shower and before I know it it’s lunchtime already.
My doctor came around this morning to speak to Dan and I about the delivery, I’ve pretty much decided that getting an epidural as soon as the induction begins is the way I’m going to go. For a long time I was really affected by Declan’s birth, and the amount of trauma involved and I think a lot of it was caused by my insistence that I could go without an epi and not being prepared to have one, and by the time I did finally decide on it then it was too late PLUS the morphine had worn off and I was taking in so much gas I was completely delirious and remember nothing of his birth or the first few hours afterwards. I will fully admit this time round that I have a very low pain threshold and a natural birth is not for me! As soon as they shove a needle in my hand I want one in my spine as well, my Doctor has said that it will be a walking epidural so I won’t be confined to bed and will hopefully still feel the need to push. I just hope I swear less than last time!
It sounds so crazy to say that in nine days we will be a family of four. I think Declan is going to deal with it far better than I previously thought, he seems to have taken all the recent changes completely in his stride, one of the few things I will say I did right is getting him into such a set routine, so long as that isn’t messed with too much he’s a wonderful child, and although he’s going to have to learn to develop his patience a bit more once the new baby is here, I think so long as his routine doesn’t get played with too much then he’ll cope fine with it all.
I have another 24 hour gate pass this weekend so I have one weekend to do all the last minute things and get everything sorted, I must say, it’s very convenient knowing exactly when I’m going to have a baby, it makes all this planning much easier!
Day Nine Of Confinement
I heart my Doctor, this guy is so laid back it’s insane, although as he’s a high risk specialist and I’m not overly high risk I guess I’m old hat to him, but considering it was sheer luck that we ended up with him as opposed to a referral or anything I am so chuffed. He’s come to see me almost every day since I’ve been in just to say hello and check up on me, he’s just lovely and I really think his relaxed attitude is going to make a world of difference to my labour and birthing experience. In fact (almost) all of the staff in here are lovely, the midwives are (generally) superb, even the catering staff doing the crappy jobs are so friendly and Declan’s paediatrician has come to see me several times to say hello and make sure I was still growing the bub. There’s just such a friendly atmosphere that is making my stay so much easier.
Before all this happened Dan and I were thinking of cutting back on our health insurance and going public again if we decided to have another child, the care just didn’t feel like it was worth the $40 a week, but since coming in, and particularly knowing that I’m going to be in here for a total of 25 days it completely feels worth it. I’d be scared to get rid of the insurance now just in case we do have another babe and the same thing happens, there’s no way they would let me sit around for almost four weeks in a hospital bed in a public hospital to just make sure the baby wouldn’t spend any time in special care. Plus, although there was nothing wrong with the majority of the care staff in Auburn, it was very obvious that they were over stretched and didn’t have the time to do their jobs as well as they would have probably liked.
I’m hoping and praying and crossing every bit of me that this babe is a girl. I know if it is then there’s no way I would even consider getting pregnant again, although there’s no health risk to me, and only a small health risk to the bub, I am struggling enough being away from just Declan and being in hospital for this length of time, I couldn’t imagine doing it with two children to look after. Plus it’s very much in my mind that with Declan this happened at 37 weeks, with #2 this happened at 34 weeks, what if my membranes rupture at 30 weeks with #3? Although my chances of going into labour are very low, there is still a risk that I will, and even if I don’t go into labour, then there’s 5-6 weeks that I will be in hospital and away from my other two children. My mum (who is doing an awesome job taking care of Declan) has of course said that if we do decide to have a third (and last - no matter what gender!) child then she will come out in the final months to help and to cover me if I do end up in hospital long term again, so that will help, but even knowing that, it’s still not something I’m going to even consider until #2 has hit three, just to make it easier on everyone.
I was talking to my cellmate yesterday about it all and she said that it just makes you so jealous of the women whose primary concern is getting a single room in the hospital. I wouldn’t wish anything onto anyone, but the last week has really brought things into perspective for me, right now my focus is 100% on hitting full term and having a healthy baby, no matter the gender, how it gets here and what pain relief I take.
I Can Has Interwebz?
Dan gave me the internet!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaay.
Okay, so now I have a connection I can update the world on everything that’s going on.
Monday I got out of the shower, sat on the bed and discovered it drenched with fluid and blood, I went straight to the birth centre at Westmead Private and the best guess is that my waters broke in the shower and as I was washing black hair dye out of my hair I didn’t noticed the blood going down the plug hole. Once again I have PPROM (pre-term premature rupture of the membranes) combined with an unresponsive cervix. Part of my body has gone “right, lets have a baby” and another part has pulled a silly face and asked how on earth it’s supposed to do that. I have intermittent contractions but nothing significant and they’re fairly useless as they don’t actually do their job in dilating or even thinning my cervix. The main concern right now is infection as the baby is basically now exposed to the outside world without its membranes to protect it. I’ve had 48 hours of antibiotics via drip and canular and two days ago they switched me onto oral - much better because that’s only every eight hours and so I don’t get waken up through the night.
I’m being monitored every few hours through the day, as well as last thing at night and first thing in the morning, my temperature, blood pressure, pulse and the baby’s heartbeat to check for any signs of infection. I also have a CTG every morning for half an hour which monitors baby’s heart rate, movements and my contractions, this checks to see if he’s in any distress or if I’m having enough contractions to be concerned about. If they pick up any sign of infection or a high stress rate for babe then I’ll be straight in for an emergency caesarean, but so far it all looks good and neither the midwives or my doctor have any concerns. I stopped bleeding a day or so ago so they’re also very happy about that.
On Wednesday (48 hours after my waters broke) my Doctor came to see me to discuss my options. I could either stay in the hospital and continue to wait for either labour or the 37 week mark at which point they would induce me, or I could enter a trial that he was currently taking part in where I would get a 50/50 chance as to whether to be induced or to wait it out and babe would then be monitored as part of a control group to see whether there are benefits between waiting and inducing in women with cases like mine. I was convinced on entering the trial just so there was a chance of induction ASAP, I was missing Declan like crazy - I don’t think before this I’ve ever been away from him for more than ten hours at the very most and the thought of staying in hospital for three weeks was not a tempting one. Fortunately, Dan, my Mum and Declan’s paediatrician convinced me otherwise. Although we’re past the point of any lung or breathing issues the main concern at this stage of gestation is the sucking reflex forming and feeding issues, I know that if #2 was sick just because I couldn’t stick out sitting in a hospital bed for two weeks then I would have massive guilt issues, and I also know that my mental state would take a brutal kicking if I couldn’t breastfeed. As much as I miss Declan, I know he’s in safe hands with my Mum and Daniel, and as much as it sucks, he doesn’t seem to be missing me in the slightest! So I chose the “sit it out and wait” option. I think my OB/GYN is a bit pissed that I didn’t enter the trial, this is something that affects less than 0.5% of all pregnancies so I think he was fairly excited about having another guinea pig.
Ack, I just bahleeted half my damn post when my hand brushed the touchpad, damnit.
Anyway, I’m in here for the long haul. I’ve been embroidering and crochetting and I get on well with my cellmate, she’s been in here five weeks now for a shortened cervix, the food isn’t too terrible and I’m starting to learn which midwives are awesome and which ones are completely incompetent. I’m not on bedrest so I’m allowed to walk around and go to the cafe downstairs. Dan is coming to see me everyday, and Mum brings Declan in every other day although he’s more interested in showing off for the nurses than spending any time with me. I have a 24 hour pass this weekend, I’m allowed to go home on Saturday morning and return on Sunday afternoon so long as I take it easy, keep up with my meds and take my temperature, and I have the CTG right before I leave and as soon as I return. I’m very excited about seeing Declan, spending a night in my own bed and doing some last minute preparations for the new babe.
My Doctor came to see me this morning and he’s pencilled my induction in for Friday the 19th of September, spot on 37 weeks gestation and exactly nineteen months after Declan’s birth. I’m hoping I go naturally a few days before then as I now know just how horrible it is to be induced, but I don’t really see it happening that way! At least with that there then there’s an end in sight.
So, nothing to be overly concerned about at all, I’m healthy, #2 is healthy and as soon as anything is picked up wrong with either of us then at least we’re already in the right place. Right now we’re just focusing on growing and relaxing and trying not to think about just how much I miss Declan.
I'm a twenty something WAHM, originally from England and now living in a land downunder.
